existandbleed | psl post

I'm at Boyd's.

[Most nights even Declan would get Adam reiterating something about only if it's not too much trouble, but tonight he just lets it stand.

Because tonight he feels raw and his emotions are a twisted mess, and Declan is the only one that he thinks he can stand, the only one that he wants. Everyone else he knows would probably be a fight, definitely be a fight. Especially Gansey. It would be Adam's fault, but that fact wouldn't make it any easier for either of them.

So he allows himself this. An offer in the words he's not saying, and he tells himself that there's equivalency in the trade. That it's not just greedy. Will you give me a ride? isn't the real question, anyway.

It's: do you want to stay? It's: do you want to kiss me, Declan?]

[Declan can't quite put his finger on what lingers behind those two text messages. They seem average enough on the surface, but Declan (perhaps despite the belief of some of Adam's friends) is an intuitive person. And he's gotten to know Adam Parrish more than he'd ever expected to in the last couple of months. He senses something more behind them.

[Then again, this could all be coming from his side - the fact that he wants to see Adam as desperately as Adam wants to see him. Why does that seem difficult to admit for some reason? It's easier to if he believes that Adam is asking for something more than just a ride.]

Boyd's it is.

Give me fifteen minutes.

[It only takes ten, Declan's Volvo pulling up outside of the small shop with the radio playing softly inside. If this was a girl he was picking up - someone he was intent on impressing - he might step out of the car and hold the passenger side door open for them. But this is Adam, and Declan has a feeling that he wouldn't want anyone making any sort of scene, as it were. So he waits patiently from the driver's side.]

[Adam appreciates the fact that Declan doesn't try to help him, just waits in the driver's seat while Adam very carefully pops the front wheel off and tucks his bike into the trunk, and then after carefully closing it with just enough force for it to latch securely, walks around to the passenger's side, slipping into the Volvo's interior.

Declan was earlier than Adam had anticipated, but it still left him ten minutes to fret in his own anxieties, but he somehow sliding into the Volvo has him feeling more relaxed than it feels like he's been in days. The AC cool and blissfully functional and he tucks his bag neatly between his feet as he smiles at the other boy. There's warmth and a hum of something more to it- Declan wasn't wrong about it being more than a ride.

There's a brief flutter of a touch, just Adam's slender fingers against the back of his knuckles- slight enough that it could just be an accident as he gets settled and puts on his seatbelt, but it isn't. Not quite a promise, but more than an invitation, it's a whisper of desire, of the request he couldn't say through text.]

Thank you. For the ride.

[Is what he says instead, though.]

[The brush of fingers against Declan's knuckles could be an accident, but habit of put-on confidence convinces Declan that it isn't, and that brings a tug to the corners of his lips. This blossoms into a handsome smile, and a careless shrug as he begins to pull away from Boyd's.]

No trouble. I was losing interest quickly in my previous engagement. [That is to say, he wasn't sitting in his dorm with a lack of anything better to do. He chose to leave his plans and come here to be with Adam. He wonders how Adam will take that information.]

[Adam gives Declan a complicated look at the mention of a previous engagement. That pleasure that Declan would choose spending time with him over whatever else he'd been doing- given the hour he assumed it was likely some sort of Aglionby party. But of course there was the self-deprecation, the sort that generally yielded apologies.

But tonight there's something searing in the edges of the look, and Adam smiles just a touch. He lets it touch his eyes that are more grey than Declan's.]

So does that mean you can stay?

[He swallows a little at his audacity, hides his nerves in pressing his hands into his thighs.]

[A glance to the side at Adam as he begins to drive.]

Would you like me to?

Yes.

[It's an easier response than he quite expects, the way he lets himself say it without qualifiers because he wants Declan to know that he means it. He doesn't add the part about how he'd really like to kiss him, actually, would like Declan to kiss him and- But then Adam is a greedy creature. And desire feels almost more like need. But then being around Declan has that effect on him. He'd been resisting the urge, because if they kissed then it was something he had to admit to himself that he should talk about, and choose whether he was going to.]

[Declan nods, eyes forward and staring out of the windshield now. He has one hand on the wheel, and the music turned down low.

[It's only a confirmation of what he'd already guessed, but it's one he finds he needed - or, at the very least, wanted. And the corner of his mouth turns up with just a hint of smile.]

Sure. I don't see why not.

Good.

[It could sound like a flat reply, but it isn't. It's careful, the way that he tries not to ask for more than he's given, more than he thinks he's earned, than he has the ability to offer in return. But there's still relief in the single word, in the way that his breath evens. That hum of wanting that only feels permissible with Declan, who understands the sharp sort of creature he is, the deceptions and masks, because they're both survivors.

His fingers brush against the side of Declan's leg- fabric of his expensive slacks a caress against Adam's knuckles- and he leaves his hand there. If it was someone else it would probably inspire a feeling more like jealousy, for the differences between them, that he can risk fine fabric at an Aglionby party. But with Declan it just makes him wish he was more daring. Maybe willing to risk something as blatant as a hand on his thigh, instead of just this slight touch where Adam doesn't take it away.

But for the moment, it's enough. Until Adam wont be thinking of other cars and statistics for distracted driving, and he can wrap his fingers in his tie and want him where no one else can say he can't. If Ronan doesn't want his brother, Adam will happily take him instead, pretend that it's altruism and not greed.]

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I return from the grave

yells!! you are the best ghost!

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super speed tag

I just love this thread sob

Re: I just love this thread sob

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